What Does the Bible Say About Friendship?

"Better is a dry morsel with quietness, than a house full of feasting with strife. A servant who deals wisely will rule over a son who causes shame, and shall have a part in the inheritance among the brothers. The refining pot is for silver, and the furnace for gold, but the LORD tests the hearts. An evildoer heeds wicked lips. A liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue. Whoever mocks the poor reproaches his Maker. He who is glad at calamity shall not be unpunished. Children’s children are the crown of old men; the glory of children is their parents. Excellent speech isn’t fitting for a fool, much less do lying lips fit a prince. A bribe is a precious stone in the eyes of him who gives it; wherever he turns, he prospers. He who covers an offense promotes love; but he who repeats a matter separates best friends. A rebuke enters deeper into one who has understanding than a hundred lashes into a fool. An evil man seeks only rebellion; therefore a cruel messenger shall be sent against him. Let a bear robbed of her cubs meet a man, rather than a fool in his folly. Whoever rewards evil for good, evil shall not depart from his house. The beginning of strife is like breaching a dam, therefore stop contention before quarreling breaks out. He who justifies the wicked, and he who condemns the righteous, both of them alike are an abomination to the LORD."

This passage is the starting point because it gives the reading its main biblical weight: Wisdom texts and Jesus' words present friendship as a moral force that can sharpen, heal, or corrupt.

"Don’t boast about tomorrow; for you don’t know what a day may bring. Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips. A stone is heavy, and sand is a burden; but a fool’s provocation is heavier than both. Wrath is cruel, and anger is overwhelming; but who is able to stand before jealousy? Better is open rebuke than hidden love. The wounds of a friend are faithful, although the kisses of an enemy are profuse. A full soul loathes a honeycomb; but to a hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet. As a bird that wanders from her nest, so is a man who wanders from his home. Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart; so does earnest counsel from a man’s friend. Don’t forsake your friend and your father’s friend. Don’t go to your brother’s house in the day of your disaster. A neighbor who is near is better than a distant brother. Be wise, my son, and bring joy to my heart, then I can answer my tormentor. A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge; but the simple pass on, and suffer for it. Take his garment when he puts up collateral for a stranger. Hold it for a wayward woman! He who blesses his neighbor with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be taken as a curse by him. A continual dropping on a rainy day and a contentious wife are alike: restraining her is like restraining the wind, or like grasping oil in his right hand."

Wisdom literature keeps friendship close to lived reality: speech, desire, limits, timing, consequence, and the fear of the Lord.

"Then I returned and saw all the oppressions that are done under the sun: and behold, the tears of those who were oppressed, and they had no comforter; and on the side of their oppressors there was power; but they had no comforter. Therefore I praised the dead who have been long dead more than the living who are yet alive. Yes, better than them both is him who has not yet been, who has not seen the evil work that is done under the sun. Then I saw all the labor and achievement that is the envy of a man’s neighbor. This also is vanity and a striving after wind. The fool folds his hands together and ruins himself. Better is a handful, with quietness, than two handfuls with labor and chasing after wind. Then I returned and saw vanity under the sun. There is one who is alone, and he has neither son nor brother. There is no end to all of his labor, neither are his eyes satisfied with wealth. “For whom then do I labor and deprive my soul of enjoyment?” This also is vanity. Yes, it is a miserable business. Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him who is alone when he falls, and doesn’t have another to lift him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth; but how can one keep warm alone?"

Wisdom literature keeps friendship close to lived reality: speech, desire, limits, timing, consequence, and the fear of the Lord.

"“I am the true vine, and my Father is the farmer. Every branch in me that doesn’t bear fruit, he takes away. Every branch that bears fruit, he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. You are already pruned clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I in you. As the branch can’t bear fruit by itself unless it remains in the vine, so neither can you, unless you remain in me. I am the vine. You are the branches. He who remains in me and I in him bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If a man doesn’t remain in me, he is thrown out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them, throw them into the fire, and they are burned. If you remain in me, and my words remain in you, you will ask whatever you desire, and it will be done for you. “In this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; and so you will be my disciples. Even as the Father has loved me, I also have loved you. Remain in my love. If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love, even as I have kept my Father’s commandments and remain in his love. I have spoken these things to you, that my joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be made full. “This is my commandment, that you love one another, even as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do whatever I command you."

The Gospel witness matters here because Jesus does not leave friendship as an idea; He embodies and commands the kingdom shape of it.

"When he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. Saul took him that day, and wouldn’t let him go home to his father’s house any more. Then Jonathan and David made a covenant, because he loved him as his own soul. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was on him and gave it to David with his clothing, even including his sword, his bow, and his sash. David went out wherever Saul sent him, and behaved himself wisely; and Saul set him over the men of war. It was good in the sight of all the people, and also in the sight of Saul’s servants. As they came, when David returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul with tambourines, with joy, and with instruments of music. The women sang to one another as they played, and said, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have credited David with ten thousands, and they have only credited me with thousands. What can he have more but the kingdom?” Saul watched David from that day and forward. On the next day, an evil spirit from God came mightily on Saul, and he prophesied in the middle of the house. David played with his hand, as he did day by day. Saul had his spear in his hand;"

This passage broadens the topic by showing how friendship belongs inside God's larger story rather than a single isolated concern.