What Does the Bible Say About Parenting?

"Now these are the commandments, the statutes, and the ordinances, which the LORD your God commanded to teach you, that you might do them in the land that you go over to possess; that you might fear the LORD your God, to keep all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you—you, your son, and your son’s son, all the days of your life; and that your days may be prolonged. Hear therefore, Israel, and observe to do it, that it may be well with you, and that you may increase mightily, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised to you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. Hear, Israel: The LORD is our God. The LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. These words, which I command you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them for a sign on your hand, and they shall be for frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates. It shall be, when the LORD your God brings you into the land which he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you, great and goodly cities which you didn’t build,"

This passage is the starting point because it gives the reading its main biblical weight: Wisdom, covenant instruction, and apostolic household texts call parents to form children without provoking or crushing them.

"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise: “that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth.” You fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath, but nurture them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Servants, be obedient to those who according to the flesh are your masters, with fear and trembling, in singleness of your heart, as to Christ, not in the way of service only when eyes are on you, as men pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, with good will doing service as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that whatever good thing each one does, he will receive the same good again from the Lord, whether he is bound or free. You masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with him. Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places."

The apostolic letters press parenting into the life of the church, where doctrine becomes worship, speech, habits, and love.

"A good name is more desirable than great riches, and loving favor is better than silver and gold. The rich and the poor have this in common: The LORD is the maker of them all. A prudent man sees danger and hides himself; but the simple pass on, and suffer for it. The result of humility and the fear of the LORD is wealth, honor, and life. Thorns and snares are in the path of the wicked; whoever guards his soul stays far from them. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. The rich rule over the poor. The borrower is servant to the lender. He who sows wickedness reaps trouble, and the rod of his fury will be destroyed. He who has a generous eye will be blessed, for he shares his food with the poor. Drive out the mocker, and strife will go out; yes, quarrels and insults will stop. He who loves purity of heart and speaks gracefully is the king’s friend. The LORD’s eyes watch over knowledge, but he frustrates the words of the unfaithful. The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside! I will be killed in the streets!” The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit. He who is under the LORD’s wrath will fall into it. Folly is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline drives it far from him. Whoever oppresses the poor for his own increase and whoever gives to the rich, both come to poverty."

Wisdom literature keeps parenting close to lived reality: speech, desire, limits, timing, consequence, and the fear of the Lord.

"A Song of Ascents. By Solomon. Unless the LORD builds the house, they who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman guards it in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to stay up late, eating the bread of toil, for he gives sleep to his loved ones. Behold, children are a heritage of the LORD. The fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows in the hand of a mighty man, so are the children of youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them. They won’t be disappointed when they speak with their enemies in the gate."

The Psalms give parenting a prayer language, helping readers speak honestly to God instead of turning the topic into abstraction.

"If then you were raised together with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated on the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things that are above, not on the things that are on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, our life, is revealed, then you will also be revealed with him in glory. Put to death therefore your members which are on the earth: sexual immorality, uncleanness, depraved passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. For these things’ sake the wrath of God comes on the children of disobedience. You also once walked in those, when you lived in them, but now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and shameful speaking out of your mouth. Don’t lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old man with his doings, and have put on the new man, who is being renewed in knowledge after the image of his Creator, where there can’t be Greek and Jew, circumcision and uncircumcision, barbarian, Scythian, bondservant, or free person; but Christ is all, and in all. Put on therefore, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, a heart of compassion, kindness, lowliness, humility, and perseverance; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do."

The apostolic letters press parenting into the life of the church, where doctrine becomes worship, speech, habits, and love.